


A Night Out of Time

by geethr75



Category: Mahabharata - Vyasa
Genre: M/M, Slash, dream - Freeform, mahabharata - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 6,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geethr75/pseuds/geethr75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Seventeenth Day ends differently......with different results</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arpita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arpita/gifts), [goldenfairy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenfairy/gifts).



The sun set so suddenly. It was as if someone reached out an invisible hand into the sky and forced the burning orb to sink. One moment, it was shining so bright, next moment it was dark.

Vasusena and Arjuna who were facing each other in battle seemed stunned by the unexpected end to their battle that day. Vasusena, standing on the ground near his mired wheel had seen his death when Arjuna nocked the arrow to the bow. He was stupefied by the sunset. He could not understand how it had happened. Drained as he was by all that happened that day and the battle that took everything out of him, his brain was sluggish and unable to think.

Salya, standing next to Vasusena was equally stunned, but relieved as well. He had started the day off by denigrating Vasusena’s skills, but that day had changed his opinions to a considerable extent. Vasusena was still a Suta, still arrogant and boastful and vain, but none of that mattered before his undoubted ability with the bow. Salya was forced to concede that Vasusena did have some reason to be arrogant and vain. Not that he was going to tell him that, of course. He was too arrogant for his own good. Had he listened to Salya while deploying the Nagastra, this battle would have been over long back and Vasusena would have been the victor too. Stiff-necked fool, thought Salya. But at least he had survived the day.

Arjuna lowered his bow with a frustrated growl. He had his arrow ready and nocked but the sun had ensured he could not release it. He wondered sourly how it happened that this braggart escaped every time. The way the sun set reminded him of the first time they ever met, in the arena at Hastinapura. Then also, the sunset had prevented their battle. It seemed the sun was partial to Vasusena.

Krishna picked up the reins. Apart from the faint smile on his face, there was no change of expression on his face. With a bow to the two standing on the ground, he flicked the reins, directing the horses away from the battlefield.

“Come, let’s get that wheel off the ground,” said Salya.

The wheel which had resisted their concerted efforts till then came free with just a gentle push.

Salya stared at the wheel in surprise. He shivered, a feeling of foreboding assailing him. He looked at Vasusena, the stories regarding the many curses on the man coming to his memory. He shivered again. He should have died today, thought he. Everything had pointed to it. The mired wheel, the sluggish thoughts from him, all the curses on him were coming true. And yet, Vasusena had survived.

“You should have listened to me,” said Salya, unable to repress himself. “You should have aimed the Nagastra at his heart.”

Vasusena smiled at Salya. “I am not going to let you provoke me again today. I aimed at the neck because there is no surer way of killing someone than severing their head. If Krishna hadn’t done what he did, Arjuna would have been dead.”

Salya wondered if he imagined the slight tremor in Vasusena’s voice as he spoke the last words.

“Krishna was unnecessarily harsh to you,” said he abruptly. It had bothered him, Krishna’s words to Vasusena. Why bring up everything in the past now? It was expected from Bheema perhaps, not from Krishna. And Krishna had actually prompted Arjuna to kill Vasusena while he was unarmed and standing on the ground. Salya was fast losing his illusions that his nephews were fighting this battle for Dharma.

Vasusena shrugged, but made no answer. It might have been due to the indifferent light, but it seemed to Salya that Vasusena’s face grew more haggard at the mention of Krishna’s name and his words.

“Come,” said Salya, mounting the chariot. “Let’s get back to camp before your friend comes looking for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

Yudhistira was pacing the tent impatiently.

“They should have been back by now!” said he, a worried frown between his brows.

“Calm down, brother,” said Bheema who was sprawling on a divan. “Krishna would not allow anything to happen to Arjuna.”

“Arjuna can take care of himself,” said Nakula quietly. He looked subdued today.

Sahadeva threw his twin a commiserating glance. “Krishna’s protection is required even for the greatest,” said he.

Just then, the tent flap lifted and Arjuna and Krishna walked in. 

Yudhistira strode forward to pull his brother, armour, blood and all, into a tight embrace.

“Brother-” Arjuna began.

“Don’t say anything,” said Yudhistira fiercely. “I don’t care if he is alive or dead. I am glad you are unhurt. If not today, you will kill him tomorrow, I know.”

Bheema smothered a grin, Nakula smiled broadly and Sahadeva turned his laugh to a cough.

“So, did you kill him?” asked Bheema.

Krishna shook his head. “Had the sun been in the sky for one more moment, Vasusena would have been dead, though.”

Bheema gave a snort of disgust. “He’s so lucky, it’s almost unnatural.” 

Sahadeva looked startled. “He’s still alive, you say?”

Krishna smiled. “Yes, he is. Did the signs tell you he was going to die today?”

Sahadeva made no answer, but seemed to have gone into deep thought.

“It’s a pity,” remarked Nakula. “But like Yudhistira said, Arjuna can kill him tomorrow,”

Arjuna, having managed to free himself from Yudhistira’s grasp, flopped down on the divan next to Bheema.

“Killing him is no sinecure,” said he. “If not for Krishna, I would have been dead today.”

Yudhistira looked stricken at the words and Arjuna held up a hand, just as he was about to speak.

“Don’t say it was your fault. I underestimated him. It won’t happen again.”

There was silence in the tent for a moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

“I’m sorry I failed to avenge your insult,” said Arjuna to Yudhistira. “I shall not fail tomorrow.”

“His insult?” asked Nakula. “He insulted me too.”

“And me,” said Sahadeva. 

“Me too,” said Bheema, in a muted voice.

Arjuna stared at his brothers in surprise.

“In one day, he managed to insult all of you and nearly killed me.” He drew a deep breath. “He has certainly lived too long.”

Sahadeva nudged Nakula with his elbow, smothering a giggle. Nakula looked at Bheema, laughter in his eyes.

“Why don’t you tell Arjuna of the exact nature of the insult, Bheema?”

“Exact nature?” asked Yudhistira, perplexed. 

“Ah, so you don’t know either,” laughed Sahadeva. “What say you Bheema? Shall we tell?”

“Oye, shut up, the two of you,” said Bheema throwing a pillow at them. He had blushed a deep crimson.

“Now you have whetted my curiosity too,” remarked Krishna who had been silent for a while.

“He-” Bheema paused, blushing even more. “He kissed me!”

A moment’s silence. Then

“What!” roared Arjuna and Yudhistira as the twins collapsed in laughter and Krishna suppressed a smile.

“On the cheeks,” hastily amended Bheema. “He said I looked so cute when angry and kissed me on the cheeks.”

The statement made the twins go into whoops of laughter and even Arjuna was finding it hard to hold in his laughter. Only Yudhistira looked concerned. 

“Well, you do look kind of cute,” said Krishna, stifling his laughter.

“Not you too,” groaned Bheema. “Why didn’t you kill that upstart, Arjuna? These three are never going to let me live it down as long as he lives!”

“Don’t worry,” said Arjuna trying to be reassuring and failing as he too succumbed to laughter. “I shall kiss him before I kill him!”

Bheema sighed. “I should have known,” he muttered.

“Sober up, you three,” said Yudhistira, impatiently. “Am I the only one to notice the pattern in his behavior?”

“What pattern, Yudhistira?” asked Arjuna, sobering.

The twins too stopped laughing and looked at their brother, curious.  
“Doesn’t it strike any of you as odd that Vasusena had the chance to kill or capture four of us and yet he did not?” asked Yudhistira. “I was too angry and humiliated at the time to pay attention to it. But now that I think of it, it seem so strange for an enemy warrior to behave like that. We all know how much he hates us. Then why did he let us go with a few insulting remarks? He beat us in battle. Why didn’t he press the advantage?”

Bheema frowned. “It did not occur to me,” said he. “I think that each of us were caught up in the humiliation we suffered to give a thought to this aspect. And it is odd. Quite unlike Vasusena. He could have won this war for Suyodhana today. All he needed was to capture you. Why didn’t he?”  
“Weird,” murmured Arjuna. “What do you feel, Krishna?”   
There was no reply.  
“Where is Krishna?” asked Yudhistira, bewildered.

They looked around the tent, but Krishna seemed to have left the tent. When and where he went was something they could not fathom. None of them had seen him leave.

“Let’s go find him,” said Nakula. “We need his advice.”

“I’m not going anywhere till I have changed out of these clothes,” said Arjuna. “I’m sure whatever we need to discuss with him can wait till then.”


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three

Vasusena lay on his back on the river bank, looking up at the night sky. The stars were bright that night, the sky unclouded. 

He sighed. Why can’t my life be as unclouded, he wondered. Why can’t it be uncomplicated? 

“Evil One!” Krishna’s words seemed to reverberate in his ears. That’s what Krishna called him. He wondered why Krishna had forced the sun to set so suddenly. For he had no doubt that it was Krishna’s doing. Who else possessed power such as that!

Had he waited a moment longer, Arjuna would have slain him. Vasusena had no doubts of that. After all, he was on the ground, unarmed. There was no way for him to have defended himself. He wondered bitterly if Krishna meant all that he said to him. Which of his words was he to believe? And if he meant what he said, then why had he saved him in the end?

He had no answers. Krishna remained as much an enigma as ever. But the one thing he knew with complete certainty was his own feelings for Krishna. Not even Krishna’s harsh words had changed them. He had been so completely devastated by those words, not because of their truth, but because they had been spoken by Krishna.

Someone sat down next to him. He knew who it was without looking.

“I wondered if you would come,” he murmured.  
“Did you?” Asked Krishna, as he lay down on his stomach, his head close to Vasusena’s.   
“I did. I also wondered why you made the sun set so suddenly.”  
“The sun did not set early today,” said Krishna. “It was late in fact. He stayed in the sky to watch your battle.”  
“To watch me die, you mean,” said Vasusena.  
Krishna smiled into his eyes. “Your father does not control death.”  
Vasusena smiled back. “No, my brother does.”  
“And did you see him there today?”  
“I saw him yesterday. You know that. I was meant to die today.”  
“Did he tell you that?”  
“No, but he did not need to. Besides, you too hinted as much last night,”  
Krishna lifted an eyebrow. “Is it my fault that you must read into my words things I never meant?”  
Vasusena turned on his side and lay facing Krishna. “Stop playing the innocent. Why did you do it? I was supposed to die today, wasn’t I? Why am I still alive?”  
“Are you complaining?” asked Krishna.  
“No,” said Vasusena, his voice soft. “I am grateful for this night, for having one more day. And yet, there is a fear in my heart.” His gaze was troubled. “Why did you do it?”  
“I stole a night out of time,” Krishna murmured. “Because some things need to happen. And tomorrow you will think all this a dream.”  
“So this day,” he paused. “This day did not really exist? This night is not real?”  
“It is real. But none will remember or know of it.”  
“Except you,” murmured Vasusena.  
“Except I,” agreed Krishna.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

The two men lay facing each other. The night was silent except for the sound of their breathing. The river’s whisper, the chirping of crickets and the hoot of an owl in the distance all seemed to fade into the background.  
“So what was the purpose?” asked Vasusena.  
“You will find out,” murmured Krishna. “But tell me why you kissed Bheema.”  
Vasusena looked into Krishna’s eyes, alight with laughter and smiled. “I don’t know. It was an impulse and I gave into it.” He grinned. “I should have known you would never let me live it down.”  
Krishna laughed. “Some impulse!”  
“I couldn’t help it.” He paused. “But I did control my impulses with the others.”  
"Did you? You could have defeated them and let them go. What was the need for all those words?"  
"You sound as my words were expressions of love rather than insults," said Vasusena with a smile.  
Krishna smirked. "I think you had to say something. Anything. You wanted to prolong the time you had with them."  
Vasusena stopped smiling. "I wasn’t expecting to live beyond today. And yes, I wanted to prolong the time. It was my last chance."  
"You don’t have to be defensive about it," Krishna's tone was gentle. "I am not laughing at you."  
Vasusena sighed as he lay on his back, "No, but you speak harsher words than an enemy."  
Krishna made no answer for a long moment.  
"I make no apology for my words," said he. "Only for the pain it caused you."  
"Don't tell me you did not expect it,” Vasusena's voice was raw with pain.  
"Look at me," said Krishna, his voice quiet yet compelling. "Vasusena,"  
Vasusena had resisted the pull of Krishna before, but he was tired. He turned to look at the other man.  
They lay, facing each other. Krishna lifted his hand and traced Vasusena's cheek.  
"I don't expect to be forgiven," said he, his voice low.  
Vasusena caught the other man's hand. "It’s too late now for apologies anyway."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five

“Shouldn’t you be going back?” Vasusena murmured. He could not remember moving, but he seemed closer to the other man.  
“The night is still young,” came the soft reply.  
“Your friends might start worrying,”  
“Yours won’t?”  
Vasusena sighed. “He’s asleep. This war is taking its toll on him.”  
Krishna smiled. “I’m not going to state the obvious. Not tonight.”  
Vasusena too smiled. “You better not.”  
Vasusena chuckled softly.   
“Something funny?” asked Krishna.  
“No, not funny. I was just thinking how desperate you were to have me on your side, though your side didn’t need me.”  
“Was I?” Krishna murmured.  
“You certainly gave that impression,” said Vasusena. “Asking me to fight for you for as long as Bheeshma was General. Offering me-”  
Krishna leaned over and kissed him, effectively silencing him.   
“Was that desperate enough for you?” he asked softly.  
Vasusena smiled. “You didn’t need to do that to prove it.”  
“I don’t do anything to prove points. I only do what I want to do. And talking of desperation, who was it that concocted the plan to capture me in Hastinapura?”  
Vasusena blushed. “It was idiotic, wasn’t it?”  
“Quite,” agreed Krishna. “And it did not serve your purpose either.”  
“My purpose?”  
“You forced me into revealing who I was, hoping that it might make Suyodhana change his mind. You should have known your friend better.”  
“And was your action any less foolish?” asked Vasusena. “You thought by offering me a wife I do not want, you could save me from the revenge you promised her?”  
“We were both desperate,” Krishna murmured. “But I at least had more basis for my hopes. I could hope that the truth might sway you.”  
“It came too late for me,” murmured Vasusena.  
Vasusena looked up into the sky.  
“There was so much time,” his voice was almost a whisper. “From the Rajasuya till now. Agreed, we did not have much time together, but you could yet have told me the truth so many times.” He looked at Krishna. “Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me when there still was a chance of turning Suyodhana from this path, when my words might have been heeded? Why didn’t you tell me when there was still time?”  
“Because it was not my secret to tell,” said Krishna. “And had I not been that desperate, I would never have burdened you with it on the eve of battle.”  
“Burden is right,” he sighed. “And I am glad you told me first. I am glad you came to me before her.”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

Krishna sighed. “Don’t be too harsh on her,” said he softly.  
“I do not hate her nor hold her in anger.” Replied Vasusena. “Not anymore. I might have hated her for her selfishness once. But not now. I only regret that she too never thought of telling me the truth before.”  
“She loves you,” said Krishna  
“Please,” said Vasusena. “Not even from you will I believe that. She wanted her sons’ lives. Had I not been in the opposite camp, she would never have come to me.”  
Krishna brushed his fingers down Vasusena’s arms. “Shall I tell them the truth?”  
“You already promised me you won’t.”  
“And I am asking you to release me from it.”  
“You will not tell the Pandavas. Never.”  
“Why are so insistent?”  
“I already told you why.”  
“That was then,” said Krishna. “They will not leave this battle now.”  
“You think that they will kill me if they know the truth?”  
“I am certain they won’t.”  
“Why do you wish to save me so badly? I have to die someday. Why not in this battle?”  
“Because I love you,” said Krishna softly.  
“And all your philosophy fails you when you love?”  
Krishna smiled sadly. “You could say that.”  
“I still refuse to release you from your promise. You will not tell them. You will never tell them.”   
“Vasusena, don’t you think they deserve to know the truth? They may choose not to fight. They may choose not to oppose you. But shouldn’t they have the right to make that choice? How can you take that choice away from them?”  
“It is the only choice I have ever made for them. And I am not prepared to choose otherwise.”  
“And when they find out afterwards? How do you think they will feel then? Is that fair to them to keep them in the dark about this?”  
“How will they find out? You will not tell them. I do not think Grandsire Bheeshma or Prime Minister Vidura will tell them either. Then how will they know?”  
“Their mother will tell them.”  
“No,” Vasusena’s tone was abrupt.  
“She will.”  
“You will have to stop her.”  
“I cannot.”  
“Then I will.”  
“How?”  
Vasusena looked at Krishna and said quietly. “Tell her this message from me when I am dead. Tell her that I spared her sons’ lives because she asked me to. But I will not have peace if she reveals the truth to them. Tell her that. And tell her before she gets a chance to reveal the truth.”  
Krishna shook his head. “I cannot tell her. I cannot deny her the chance to do the only selfless thing she would ever do for you.” He paused. “Vasusena, you have to let them know now. Please. They deserve the right to make this choice for themselves.”  
“Is that why you saved me today?” asked Vasusena  
“Tell me you still hate them,” said Krishna. “Tell me that and I shall never make this demand of you again.”  
“I can’t say it,” said Vasusena quietly. “I love them. You know that. I love them more than myself.”  
“Then, don’t make this choice for them.”  
“It is the only thing I have ever done for them. Don’t deny me this chance to make amends.”  
“Amends can be made with your life!” Krishna’s tone was intense. “Why must you die for that?”  
“Because it is too late! You know that! My life is of no value now! My death is the only restitution I can make!”  
“And do you think they will accept that? Do you think they will be happy with it?”  
“I’m sure you will help them.”  
“If you love them, don’t do this to them,” said Krishna, resignation in his voice.  
“They hate me,” said Vasusena. “I don’t think it will affect them as much as you think.”  
“And if I say it will?”  
“Don’t tempt me into wanting to live when I have already accepted my death.”   
“I’m talking of the Pandavas. I am not trying to tempt you. I am asking you to let them learn the truth.”  
“Their mother never thought it necessary for them to know.” Vasusena spoke softly. “And as her eldest son, I too do not deem it necessary.”  
A strangled gasp from behind them echoed in the silent night.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven

Arjuna had to hurry through his bath, because his brothers were in no mood to wait too long. He had to hurry with his dressing too, and had to listen to Bheema’s grumbling on the amount of time he took.

Though he ignored his brother’s protests, he knew Yudhistira was perfectly capable of going off on his own to find Krishna. And it was equally certain that Bheema would accompany him. And if that happened, Nakula and Sahadeva might well go with them too. And Arjuna did not want to be left alone to follow them later.

He took only half the time he normally did and was feeling like a new man. The blood and gore of the battlefield never left them fully, yet a change of clothes did help to put it behind them, at least in part.

“Shall we go?” asked Yudhistira as soon as he joined them in the tent. 

He nodded and they set off. 

He had expected Krishna to be in his own tent, but he was not there. Since they no longer posted guards, there was no one they could ask either. But one of the soldiers said they had seen him go outside.

Arjuna frowned. True, it was not dangerous. And there was no being in all the worlds who could have harmed Krishna. But he wondered why Krishna had chosen to leave camp. It was not like Krishna to wander off like that. 

Once outside camp, they looked around in confusion. The enemy camp was not too far off and they could hardly shout Krishna’s name. They had no idea in which direction, Krishna must have gone.

“The river,” said Arjuna. He did not know why, but he felt certain that that must be where Krishna was.

His brothers nodded. “As good a place as any,” said Bheema with a shrug. 

They were silent as they walked towards the river. The night had fallen but the moon provided enough light. They did not want to attract the attention of their enemies though they did not fear attack. Even their feet made no noise on the ground as they walked.

Nakula saw him first, but just as he was about to call out, he saw Krishna was not alone. In the dim light, he could not see who it was with Krishna.

They stopped. They were near enough to see Krishna but not so near that Krishna or his companion could see them. 

Arjuna sucked in a soundless breath as he recognized the man who was with Krishna.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Eight

“There was so much time,” Vasusena’s whispered voice floated to them, low but distinct in the still night. “From the Rajasuya till now. Agreed, we did not have much time together, but you could yet have told me the truth so many times….Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me when there still was a chance of turning Suyodhana from this path, when my words might have been heeded? Why didn’t you tell me when there was still time?”

They backtracked silently, not willing to eavesdrop on their friend and their bitterest enemy. Their enmity towards Suyodhana was not so bitter. They were cousins, brothers almost. There was still love and respect and memories of shared childhood. Vasusena was an outsider and a Suta to boot. Him, they hated with a hatred that was untempered by any softer feelings or memories. 

They moved out of ear shot and stopped. 

“What was that? What is Krishna doing with him?” The words burst from Bheema.

“I’m sure there must be a reason,” Yudhistira said, though his face was troubled.

“I did not know he knew Vasusena so well,” said Arjuna. He felt betrayed. Krishna and he were more than cousins, more than friends. They were parts of one another. One soul in two bodies. And yet, he had not known of Krishna’s friendship with his biggest enemy.

That they were more than acquaintances were evident from the words they heard. Vasusena’s words, his tone and his posture indicated a relation with Krishna that held love, respect and intimacy.  
It galled Arjuna, that intimacy.  
“None of us knew it,” said Nakula, sounding upset.  
“I want to know what they are talking about.” Said Bheema.   
Arjuna too wanted that but he still raised a protest. “How can we spy on Krishna?”  
“We can go and ask him,” said Yudhistira. “I am certain Krishna will tell us.”  
“Go to him now?” Arjuna was not happy with that.  
“Of course,” said Bheema. “As good a time as any.”  
But none of them moved.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Nine

They could not explain the reluctance they felt. It was nothing to them. Krishna had every right to have friendship with whoever he wanted, even in the enemy camp. It was Dharma Yuddha after all, and once the sun has set, it was time to lay aside all enmities. 

Yet, it bothered them. What bothered them most? Wondered Arjuna. Was it that Vasusena was an outsider and a Suta? Or that he was Suyodhana’s closest friend and staunchest ally? Or that he was Arjuna’s rival? Had it been anyone but Vasusena, would they have been so bothered? And what did it tell about them?

He sighed. He did not want to analyze the whys and wherefores. He did not like it. But he liked going to ask Krishna what he was doing with Vasusena even less. 

“Why should we ask him anything?” asked Sahadeva. “We could just have gone to him and told him we were looking for him. The King of Anga might have left once he saw us. Why did we run away from there?”

His brothers stared at him, struck by the truth in his words. They themselves could not explain the reason behind their skulking away. 

“Well, let’s go to him then,” said Bheema striding towards the river again. The others followed. 

But Bheema’s steps slowed and all of them were again walking so as not to make any noise.  
The two were still on the river bank. They could see that. They approached silently, and the voices of the two floated to them, sharp and clear as moonlight.  
“Don’t tempt me into wanting to live when I have already accepted my death.” Vasusena was saying.  
“I’m talking of the Pandavas. I am not trying to tempt you. I am asking you to let them learn the truth.” Krishna’s voice held an intensity they had not heard before.  
“Their mother never thought it necessary for them to know. And as her eldest son, I too do not deem it necessary.”

They were unable to choke back their gasp.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Ten

“Your brothers are here,” said Krishna as he sat up leisurely, almost lazily. 

Vasusena sighed. He had no idea what to do. But he had never been a coward. He sat up slowly, dusting off the sand and dust from his arms and back.

“Krishna,” said Yudhistira. It was a plea. A plea for confirmation of what they had just heard. He had heard the words. He could not believe it. Their brother? Their mother’s eldest son? 

“It is true,” said Krishna and he was smiling. Even in the growing dark, they could see his smile.

Vasusena was not looking at his brothers. He was watching his own toes. There was nothing he would have liked more than to get up and run from there. But he could not move.

“I’m sorry,” said he finally, though he had no idea what he was apologizing for. 

“I think it’s our mother who should be sorry,” Yudhistira’s voice was harsh. 

He bent down to touch Vasusena’s feet and Vasusena hastily drew back his toes and caught Yudhistira by the shoulder.

“Don’t,” said he, surprised to see the hurt look that sprang to his brother’s eyes.

Yudhistira sat down next to him with a sigh.

After a moment, the other four too sat down near Yudhistira. None of them except Yudhistira was looking at Vasusena. Vasusena was also looking down, colour flooding his cheeks.

Krishna started laughing.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Eleven

Vasusena looked up. “Do you mind?” he asked, though his lips were quivering with a smile he was trying to suppress.

Arjuna stared at him in surprise. He had always thought of Vasusena as too ready to take offence, not a whit of humour in the man. But it seemed that with Krishna at least, he was different.

Arjuna still could not take in what he had heard. Vasusena was his brother? And Krishna knew? His sense of injury and betrayal grew stronger. He would have killed him that day, but for that sudden unexpected sunset. And Krishna had actually prompted him to do it. He frowned. He could not understand why.

He looked at Vasusena. Really looked at him. He had never looked at him before, not like he was doing now. And he felt ashamed that they had ever thought him low born. 

“How long have you known?” he asked, suddenly curious.

Vasusena shook his head. “Too long, it seems now.” He sighed. “Krishna told me the day he came with the peace mission.”

“Oh,” Arjuna did not know what to say. 

“And how long have you known, Krishna?” asked Bheema, suppressed fury in his words.

“Not longer than your mother,” replied Krishna with deliberateness.

Bheema glowered, but did not persist.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” asked Yudhistira, his question directed at both. 

“Because it was already too late for me,” said Vasusena. “And I made Krishna promise not to tell you.”

“Too late?” asked Arjuna, his voice was fierce. “And when would it have been the right time? After I have killed you? I nearly killed you today. You are my brother! How can you keep this from me? I would have killed you!”

Vasusena sighed. “Would it have mattered if you did not know?” he asked. “I never expected you to find out.”

“And that makes it all right?” asked Bheema quietly. “You have reason enough to hate us, God knows, but even then you could have known how it would be for us if we found out later.”

Vasusena smiled, but his smile was grim. “I did not know how it would be if you found out afterwards. But I did know how it would have been if you found out before.”

“Meaning?” asked Nakula who had been hitherto silent.

“Yudhistira,” said Vasusena. “Tell me this war would still have been fought if you had known who I was.”

Yudhistira sighed. “You are our eldest brother. It would have been your decision. We would have followed you.”

“And you think I would have chosen to fight Suyodhana?” he asked. “Did you honestly expect me to take the decision to let you live the rest of your lives as beggars?”

They stared at him as the full import of what he said penetrated into their brains.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Eleven

“Don’t tell us you cared for us,” said Bheema, his voice sharp. “That’s a bit too much to believe, frankly.”

Vasusena shrugged. “Believe what you will. It makes no difference to me. I was not prepared to leave Suyodhana then, I am not prepared to leave him now.”

“Your friend could have had this Kingdom for the asking had you revealed the truth,” said Arjuna. “Why did you choose to keep it secret?”

“Because I was not interested in claiming a family I did not care for when I already had one I love and who loved me back.” Said Vasusena.

“I asked for it, didn’t I?” muttered Bheema, his hand going to his cheek. “You would have done better to slap me.”

Vasusena smiled inspite of himself. “I can imagine your reaction to that,”

Bheema grinned. “Yea, so can I. But I’m certain you could have held your own.”

“What now?” asked Yudhistira.

“You go back to your camp and I will go back to mine,” said Vasusena. “And tomorrow, we meet in battle as enemies.”

“You think we can do that?” asked Arjuna.

“Krishna has assured me that none of us are going to remember this day or this night,” murmured Vasusena.

“Krishna?” asked Yudhistira.

“It is true,” said Krishna. 

Yudhistira hung his head, tears in his eyes. He did not know what to say. He had never been faced with a situation like this. He knew with absolute certainty that Vasusena might die and that they will be responsible. 

“I don’t want you to die,” he muttered, not realizing he spoke aloud.

Vasusena sighed. “I’m not too happy about dying either,” said he. “But to die in battle fighting for my friend might just well be the best death I can hope for. And all must die someday.”

Yudhistira blinked back his tears. “You didn’t kill us, though you had the chance.”

“I promised your mother I would,” there was a kind of resignation in Vasusena’s voice,

“Is she not your mother too?” Sahadeva’s voice was hoarse.

“She never did a single thing for me other than giving birth to me,” said Vasusena. “She will never be my mother.”

“You promised to spare our lives?” asked Arjuna.

“Except yours, yes,” said Vasusena, not meeting Arjuna’s eyes. 

Arjuna said nothing, he couldn’t explain to himself the pain he felt at those words. It made no sense, but it hurt that Vasusena could lay aside the enmity for his brothers but not for him. It hurt that his eldest brother could never see him as a brother.

He rose. “I’m leaving,” said he abruptly and walked off without waiting to see the others’ reactions.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Twelve

Arjuna knew he was being childish and unreasonable, but Vasusena had even promised to spare Bheema who kept insulting him at every turn, but not him. He did not need his enemy’s mercy, he told himself, but Vasusena was not his enemy, but his brother and his heart was feeling bereft.

He strode off, not caring where he was going, only intent on putting some distance between him and his brother who wanted to kill him. 

“Arjuna,” he heard the voice and knew he was being followed, and he did not want to stop but he did. 

“Will you let me explain?” Vasusena’s tone was gentle.

Arjuna looked away into the darkness, feeling tears start to his eyes which he blinked back almost furiously.

“What is there to explain?” he asked and was proud that his voice was even. “I know it is impossible to stop hating someone just because you learned he is your brother.”

“Then why are you reacting like this?”

Arjuna was silent.

“I promised her that she would always have five sons. Either Arjuna or I would be there, but not both. I had sworn to kill you and you had sworn to kill me before we ever learned the truth. I could not change those oaths even if I wished to.”

Arjuna understood what his brother was saying, but his heart was in no mood to listen to reason. He wondered dully how it happened that his fool of a heart just decided to love this man on learning he was his brother.

Vasusena made an impatient noise as he caught him and turned him around to face him.

“Did you even hear what I said?” he demanded.

“I heard,” said Arjuna. “But you didn’t need to explain. It’s not your problem anyway.”

“I love you, so that’s my problem.”

“Don’t say it when you don’t mean it.”

“Oh I do mean it. It has been tormenting me for the past so many days.”

Arjuna looked into his brother’s eyes and believed him. 

“I will never remember this?”

“You will have to ask your friend that,” said Vasusena, as he threw his arm around Arjuna’s shoulder and steered him back to the river. 

“You and Krishna seem close,” remarked Arjuna. 

Vasusena shrugged. “I only know what I feel for him. I’ve stopped trying to figure him out.”

Arjuna smiled. “I can understand.”

“I don’t want to kill you,” said Arjuna. 

“You will want to, tomorrow,” said Vasusena. “Neither of us will remember this.”

Arjuna sighed. “It’s not fair,” said he.

“You should have been used to that by now,” was Vasusena’s reply.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Thirteen

Yudhistira noticed with relief and a slight pang of envy the return of his brothers. Vasusena’s arm was round Arjuna’s shoulder. It had startled him when Arjuna stalked off like that, but he should not have felt surprised. He might have felt the same in Arjuna’s shoes. Vasusena might have been their enemy till yesterday, but today he was their brother. And it would certainly have hurt to hear him say that he had promised to spare the others but not him.

It’s all sorted out now, thought he.

Arjuna plopped down next to Sahadeva.

“I hope you are not expecting each of us to run off in a huff before you deign to tell us you care,” 

Yudhistira was appalled by his own words. 

“Now I know why they call you truthful,” said Vasusena, sitting down next to him.

Yudhistira blushed, not knowing what to say. He turned his face away, uncomfortably aware that Vasusena’s eyes were on his face.

“You didn’t let me touch your feet,” said he at last. It had bothered him. It still did.

Vasusena laughed softly. “I would rather you embraced me,” said he, pulling him into a hug.

Yudhistira sighed. He was inexplicably reminded of his father. Pandu had hugged him like this, enveloping him in his arms, making him feel safe and secure. He relaxed, not realizing that tears were flowing down his cheeks.

He smiled softly as he felt his brothers join them, their arms round one another. Vasusena’s face too was wet with tears.

“My brothers,” he murmured.

“Tit for tat,” whispered Bheema as he leaned over and kissed Vasusena on the cheek.

Vasusena laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

Epilogue

The Seven men lay on the river bank, talking till the first pale light of dawn. They rose, embraced and parted, Six back to the Pandava camp and the other, to the river, to offer worship to the rising sun.

Vasusena closed his eyes and was not even aware of the memories of the previous day and night sliding off his mind.

Yudhistira rubbed his eyes as he sat down on his chair in the tent, then wondered how he fell asleep sitting.

Bheema yawned as he plopped down on his bed and frowned wondering if he overslept.

Arjuna sat down on the floor hugging himself and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he wondered why he felt so empty.

Nakula went to his tent and sighed. He looked around in bewilderment, wondering if he was sleep walking.

Sahadeva went to check the signs and was surprised to see that their victory seemed already to have happened.

Krishna stood in his tent with a sigh, knowing that even he was powerless to stop some events.

But he had managed to steal a night out of time for the one he loved.


End file.
